The Dark of the Night !

There is a dark in the night that is so extremely different from the lightness of the day.  It sucks you in and transports you into another world.  It is the darkness in my soul that raises it's head and opens my mind to so many twists and turns that when I awaken I am exhausted.  I feel as if I have been in the vortex of a tornado.

Why?  What is the purpose of my soul being opened up and the deepest places in my heart and mind being reviewed before my shut eyes?  I just want to sleep and forget about those things.  It is not to be.

Does the dark of your soul ever awaken you and say "Why?", "What", "How could you?".  Mine does and the places I go are not always pretty.  The quick smart responses to someone's genuine question. The hidden hurts inside of me that go unnoticed by others but attack me at every opportunity forcing me to revisit and revisit things of the past that are better left untouched.  The dark emotions that prevent me from being open about the pain and suffering my soul is experiencing.

In the darkness of the dark, I find myself turning and reviewing my life.  Am I doing enough for the LORD?, Am I where HE desires for me to be?, How can I serve HIM more completely?, and the all important one "What am I doing to leave a legacy of HIS love for others?.

The dark keeps me from seeing HIS light.  It carries me to places where the evil one can attack and keep me from seeing HIS real purpose.  I struggle with the dark, with the things that are revealed to me and my countless failures to do and be better.

Fear takes over for if I revealed the true dark thoughts and emotions of my soul, I would scare others away.  If they knew the thoughts that cross my mind sometimes they would not recognize me.

When the dark of my soul threatens the light of my life, I pray.  I turn to the ONE and talk to HIM. There is nothing about me that HE doesn't already know, nothing about me that HE won't forgive and nothing to keep HIM from loving me.

So, I will carry the dark of my soul into the night knowing that when and where the evil one attacks, the LIGHT of the World will rescue not only my soul, but my heart and mind as well.